Do I understand, intellectually and emotionally my own feelings, thoughts and motivations – and whether or not I care?
(e.g. What do I feel now about this project? Why am I here?)
One of the main topics constantly occupying my mind is the question “Why” – I like to be conscious of my own decisions and the results to them – not only in relation to university, but also in my personal life. I like to think about what really matters and what the advantages and disadvantages of my decisions are.
To the question above, I can certainly say that I barely ever do or say things I don’t care about – or try to remind myself that my time is limited, so there’s no point in investing my energy in things that don’t really matter to me.
In terms of university and why I am here, I can definitely say that my decision to be here has been considered thoughtfully. As an international student, I have gone through a lot just to have the opportunity to be where I am now. Only I know how much effort it has taken me and my family to be where I am now – intellectual, emotional and material. A few years ago it was just a dream for me – an impossible reality. My whole life was changed after I came here – so just like Neil told us – he went through death and is back now – I can say that yes – all that I used to know is gone now that I’m here – my home, my family and friends (whose time is limited as well and I’m away), my language, my culture, my food, my climate, my everything – all that was my reality a few years ago. It is impossible to understand unless you experience it, but in order to make such a change in your life you have to be certain about what you want because you have to give up on other essential things. It gets you thinking about what really matters in life. Considering all that, you can certainly not take your experiences for granted because you know the costs (in all different aspects). So I am definitely not here in Cardiff, studying Graphics because I just want a degree, just to pass and say – yeah I have a Bachelor. I don’t really care about the labels people can put on me. All I want to do is to learn and improve myself in different aspects. My aim is not to “pass”, to just get it out of the way, I am here to take the most out of my experiences and I am trying to be active. Time is the most valuable asset and it is not to be wasted in stuff that don’t matter to you.
Do I understand, intellectually and emotionally the feelings, thoughts and motivations of other people – and whether or not I care about them?
(e.g. What might other people feel about the University as it is? Why are they here?)
I asked myself this question in the first year when I came here.
It is obvious that all of us make decisions according to our personal beliefs and motivations – and that’s not a bad thing. My journey in observing other people’s behaviour and trying to understand them started years ago after a conversation with a friend of mine, Yavor, who gave me a “challenge” once- he asked me to observe strangers everyday for a week, look at their faces, their movements, what they do, and try to explain their behaviour – Why? Why do they do that? Who are they? However minor that might seem, it changed me because I started noticing and understanding and ever since then I have been trying to do that without judgement. People are the best they could be in the current moment. Understanding means being able to explain why – which leads to empathy and lack of judgement. Everyone is fighting a fight, has also been through a lot before they got here.
I do care about people, but realistically we can not care about every single person. No we can’t change the world. We can help the people involved in our own lives to be their best. We can understand, encourage, support, make them feel valued. But we can not do this for the whole world.
…how capable I am of embracing, entering into and valuing another person’s feelings, thoughts and motivations – and whether or not I want to?
(e.g. How might I come to see other people’s points-of-view? What might I want to do in response?)
I guess I answered that in the last question
How do we create design for people who don’t care?
Think about the real-life (real-world) scenario(s) which I’ll share with you this morning.
Here are four questions for you to answer in your own blog and together as a team, to guide your empathic creativity:
We’re not looking for ‘correct’ or ‘incorrect’ answers. No, instead we’re asking for your honest, real, genuine thoughts, your willingness to have a go, and get involved…
1 : How do people actually behave?
1a : What do you think is influencing their behaviour – what’s going on in their thoughts?
2 : How would I want people to behave?
3 : Why do I want people to behave in a particular way?
4 : How might I learn to empathise with people, in order to create mutually-beneficial design?